October 27, 2012

30 Pounds!!!

Initial: 266
Two Weeks Ago: 239.0
This Week: 235.8
Change: -4.2
Overall: -30.2


I have officially tipped the 30lb mark in my weight loss journey! That's so cool. I felt like I was sitting in the 20s forever!

I just need to lost 20 more pounds before I can finally go to the spa! It's a little negotiation I have with myself: I love going to the spa, so if I ever want to go again, I better hit that 50lb mark!

So, the Rock n Roll marathon is slowly creeping up on me. I am determined to do my best, no matter what, and not feel like a total loser if I don't finish. I'm excited and nervous at the same time!

I was introduced to these things called Chomps. They're energy supplements you take while working out and stuff for that little burst of energy. Apparently, there's something else called Gu, which is exactly what it sounds like it is, goo. I've never even heard of these things before! But I was told they're really useful for pick-me-ups during long workouts/runs, so I bought some Strawberry and some Watermelon Chomps. I'm gonna try them out and see if they taste good/work.

So, as I've mentioned in my last posts, my pants are starting to get really baggy. They just refuse to stay on my hips these days! On that note, I bought two pairs of jeans today, and I'm glad to say I fit nicely back into a size 22 again. I know, it's only one size down from the 24 I'm at now, but it's down, not up.

That brings me to a question. If I plan on getting new jeans every time mine get baggy, I'm going to be spending a lot of money. So, what do/would you do with your clothes while losing the weight? Do you dish the cash out for pants that fit, or do you make due with your baggy jeans until you just can't keep them on anymore?

October 24, 2012


Yeah, man!

So, I didn't get my weekly weigh-in done or blog last Friday because I've been so freakin' sick since then.

It's retarded. I swear, I was just sick. I blogged about back in what, September? This time, it's even worse, too! It started off with a sore throat and lots of coughing. As of yesterday, I lost my voice and I've been super congested in my chest, and my left ear has been aching.

I actually went to the doctor today.

I never go to the doctor, but I felt so bad I wanted some medications to start feeling better, faster.

I had to leave work early on Monday because my voice was going out, and I'm taking tomorrow off because it still hasn't come back completely. Since my job is over-the-phone stuff, I need my voice to do my job properly.

I was prescribed some meds that I didn't get to pick up from the pharmacy because I promptly passed out the minute I got home, but now I can't even continue to nap because my coughing keeps waking me up. They did give me a shot in my hip, though. I supposed I feel a little better than before I went to the doctor. My voice is stronger, though it still cracks when I speak long sentences and then I start coughing.

Yeah, I don't like being sick. I act like a big baby when I'm sick, but still...no bueno.

This actually brings up a question. I've done some research about exercising when you're sick, and I've come across a lot of results that say there shouldn't be any problem with it. I've thought the complete opposite until now, and I suppose that working out while you're sick couldn't be too harmful (unless you have like, pneumonia or something).

Honestly, though, I don't work out when I'm congested like this. I guess mostly because I have had bad experiences. I worked out a couple of times in the past while I was sick, and since I do mostly cardio, my heartbeat gets up and my breathing quickens. But, it's hard to breathe when your nose is clogged up with snot. It gets super hard to breathe, which is detrimental to the workout, and makes me feel sicker than when I left.

I supposed that while I'm sick, I could stick to more strength training then cardio then, hm?

Well, that wasn't the real question. Anyway, to the point - do you guys still workout when you're sick? Does it make you feel better in the end? I just want some opinions from my fellow bandsters.

I was supposed to have a fill last Monday, but I missed the appointment. I need to reschedule it. I don't think I need a fill, though, but I still want to have a follow-up with my doctor. Well, if I even get to see him. I've been seeing the PA every time I go. She's nice and all, but I miss hunky surgeon-man. I don't care if his wife works at the same office he does, I can still look...hehe.

I did happen to weigh myself today, and I'm around 236.8. That's good, since I'm going down again! My goal is to be in the 220s, even if it's 229, by the Rock N Roll Marathon. I have come to terms with the fact that I probably won't finish the 1/2 Marathon since I am not even the slightest prepared for it, so it doesn't bother me too much anymore. I discovered there is a team of runners who gather up each year in May to start training for the Rock N Roll, and I've decided to try and sign up with them for next year's marathon. This year is just a stepping stone.

I still have the Dirty Girl Mud Run in December, which will be full of mud and obstacle courses. It's a 5k, untimed and uncompetitive. The good thing about that one is that a friend of mine will be running the same wave as me. I'm going to base my training more on that. There is a half-marathon in January called the Herothon, but I think January may still be too early for me to run a whole half-marathon.

I realized I haven't been holding myself very accountable on my weight loss. I've been slacking in my weekly weigh-ins, and I definitely haven't been taking pictures to track my weight loss. I've had plenty of people say, "Wow, Ashlee, you've lost weight!", and I suppose I can see it, especially since my pants sag ridiculously low these days. I just think if I would hold myself more accountable, my progress would be coming around more smoothly.

I had my first major regret about the Lap Band the other day, though. As I've expressed in previous blogs, work/school are killing me. Also, I'm going to be phenomenally in debt when I graduate. In my field, which is meteorology, it's also a little difficult to find a job after graduation. So, I thought I found a way that would help me exponentially in not only completing my schoolwork without so much stress, as well as guaranteeing a job after graduation: the Air Force.

Unfortunately, no matter how much weight I lose, I've read that the Lap Band immediately disqualifies me from joining the Air Force. I mean, I can always try once I reach the required weight - which is 165 pounds, by speaking to a recruiter. I want to join as an officer and work for the meteorological side of things. If I'm right, they're based out of Mississippi. I wouldn't be subject to any combat or anything like that, so maybe I can reason with a recruiter and get paperwork documenting I'm as physically fit as anyone else.

The worst they can do is tell me no.

Oh well, if not, I'll just have to use my brain to secure a position in grad school or jump right into working for the NWS.

Jeez guys, this blog was so long. I've been pondering a lot of things lately, and don't get to talk to people too much about it. I have two Bandster buddies here in town, and I haven't even talked to them lately. I miss Z and I've never been able to meet up with Banded in Texas. I think it's time to change that.

Anyway, I've been sweating from exerting myself to type this up. I'm going to watch TV (something I rarely do) and try to rest up some more so I can feel better. I'll be back on Friday with my weigh-in. :)

October 12, 2012

My Body is Slowly Falling Apart

Initial: 266
Last Week: 242.0
This Week: 239.0
Change: -3
Overall: -27

I feel so yucky right now!

So, I decided to try a workout supplement to help with my energy levels when I go workout. I heard some really great things about Jack3d, so I bought some at GNC.

Your supposed to mix 1-2 scoops in some water about 30 minutes before a workout. The firs time I used it, I mixed 1 and 1/4 scoops, and when I worked out, I didn't notice too much of a difference. So, today before my training session, I took 2 scoops.

My world has spinning for almost an hour now.

Now, I'm not saying this product is bad. I'm the stupid one who rushed to my training session without eating properly. So, the Jack3d + no food + intense workout = sick Ashlee. I'm supposed to be running errands right now, but instead, I'm trying to get the world to settle. I feel like I'm hungover!

 Also, I feel like my body is going to fall apart one day.

My hair is still falling out. I know it's perfectly normal, and that it will stop one day, but it's still disconcerting when I see a clump of hair in my hands after I wash my hair. Also, I'm tired of the drain clogging every week. Very annoying.

Also, both of my big toenails have cracked nearly in half. The left one came completely off, so I only have half of a toenail. This makes me super sad, because I like having nice toenails. I get a pedicure every month, and now my toe is so messed up I can't even do that anymore! I didn't even hit my toe anywhere, they just both cracked out of nowhere! I think it may be surgery related, just like my hair.

When it comes to the band, I'm still having trouble eating right. I PB at least once or twice a week now because I scarf my food down too fast. I have to be extremely careful eating any kind of bread, too, or I'm choking it back up plus some mucous stuff. It's nasty. This usually happens when I've been hungry for a while, and I eat too fast to satisfy my hunger.

The Rock N Roll marathon is coming up very quickly, and I am completely unprepared. I know that I have improved my stamina since July, but it's coming along very slowly. I will not complete this marathon in time, but I'm okay with that. It's just a stepping stone. Honestly, I need to step my workout game up if I plan on completing any kind of marathon soon.

Not having to worry about school right now has actually been a load off of my chest. I've been getting some intense migraines recently, and I'm positive they're stress related, so I'm positive without having to worry about school, I'll have more breathing room to deal with my stress. I can't believe I actually decided to take the semester off, but I know I'm not quitting for good. I'm way too close to graduating, and way too far in debt to quit now.

I'll be fine.

I'm not the best at dealing with my stress, though. I used to eat my way out of stress. Either that, or take a nap. I don't have much time for naps now, and I find still eat my way out of stress. Do any of you have ways to deal with your stress in healthier ways?

October 05, 2012

I'm Still Alive

Initial: 266
Three Weeks Ago: 242.0
This Week: 242.0
Change: 0
Overall: -24

It's been awhile.

I kind of don't want to blog right now, but I decided that it would be beneficial instead of just hiding in the shadows.

According to my weight stats, I didn't lose any weight these last three weeks. That's not exactly correct, though. Two weeks ago, I weighed 238. Over the last two weeks, my diet went to shit and gained four pounds back.

I'm not really upset about that. It was to be expected. As always, it's never too late to get on the bandwagon again. I had a stern talking to myself, and I know by next week I'll start losing again.

I've been slacking on my personal training sessions. That main reason is because my new trainer doesn't make it any fun. I told him at my last session that he makes me not want to come back. All he makes me do is squats, and while I understand it's beneficial to my ultimate goal (which is to become a runner), it's incredibly intense and incredibly tedious. The Rock N Roll marathon is coming up soon, and I told him that it doesn't matter to me whether I finish it or not. It's just a stepping stone to my ultimate goal.

Hopefully, we can work something out.

On more personal news, the reason why I haven't blogged in three weeks is due to shit hitting the fan.

I officially withdrew from all of my classes for the semester. I couldn't keep up. I missed so many classes, and there was no way I was going to be able to pass.

The main reason is work. I need to work to survive, as I don't have any reliable adults I can lean on for support. I just found out my parents are probably back into drugs/stealing, and my grandma's house is all filled up. Any other relatives that might be able to lend a helping hand live too far, and I can't leave San Antonio if I want to keep my degree. So, I need to work, and I need to work full time.

Working full time and school don't mesh too well. I've been working since I was 16, and even when I first started college, I was working over 30 hours a week. Now that I'm officially working a full time job, it's been so stressful. I think all the previous years of school and work are just catching up with me as well. I'm just so freakin' tired. Getting out of work at midnight and waking up at 7am the next morning for school is incredibly tiring on both my mind and body. I need a break.

So, I'll start up again next semester. I'm sure I pushed my graduation out another six months, simply because of the classes I need to take and the way their scheduled, but that doesn't matter anymore. Getting to graduation without having a mental breakdown is my main concern.

Also, the news about my parents hit me hard. I won't go into any details because that's a can of worms I refuse to open on here, but let's just say I moved out of their house for a reason. It's mostly my step-mom, but my dad is a fully grown adult and can make his own decisions, whether he chooses to or not. They were detrimental to my health, and when I moved out, I found that it improved our relationship. But I was also left out of the dark of what they were doing on a normal basis. Now, with this news from other relatives of mine, I have no idea what to do to help them, simply because they will refuse to admit they're doing anything wrong until they die.

I have a feeling I won't have parents for very long. I hope I'm wrong.

Anyway, sorry for getting all personal and all the jazz. I just need somewhere to vent. I'm pretty much alone in all of this, and dealing with all these things is pretty hard. The only thing I can do is push forward and build a positive future for myself.