September 15, 2012

Initial: 266
Last Week: 244.2
This Week: 242.0
Change: -2.2
Overall: -24

I'm still making my weight down this hill! Come one 230s, I can almost taste you!

Speaking of taste, I just discovered that beef jerky is an excellent snack. Low carb, low fat, high protein. It's perfect!! I've been looking for a good snack lately, and it just happened to fall in my lap! Actually, I found my boyfriend hiding it behind his recliner, but whatever. :D

So, this week was eventful.

I got my third fill on Monday. I was surprised at how harmless it was, since last time she was digging around in my stomach for like, thirty minutes. This time, she got it on the second time, and there was no pain. I told her I felt like I was in between the yellow and green zone, so she gave me a 0.7cc fill. She said she could have done more, but since I was sick, it was best to leave it on the low side so I don't get too tight.

Well, what has this new fill changed?


Not really, but there have been significant changes. For instance, I had my first PB this week. It was a horrible experience. My boyfriend and I went to a buffet, and I got some steamed mussels. I used to be able to eat them whole as long as I chewed them right (even after I got the band).

Nope, not this time.

I swallowed half of a mussel, and then all Hell broke loose. It was not a pleasant experience. It felt like a rock was stuck in my chest, and little by little, it would come back up. I had to rush to the bathroom and try to dislodge it. It took forever! All I can say is that is was no bueno, and I never want to do that again.

I also have a hard time eating bread now. That's a good thing, right? Wrong. I love bread, and I seriously have no problem eating bread here and there as my carb intake for the day. But now I have to really be careful when I eat it, because it gets stuck almost like the mussel did.

Well, I knew this was coming. I guess it kind of surprised me because I didn't have this issue before, but it's all for the greater good.

I met my new trainer, and he seems all right. I haven't had a session yet because I've been sick and can't freakin' breathe, but I will be seeing him on Monday. I need to get back into that grind!

My goal is to reach the 230s by next Friday. Short term goals are amazing for motivation!

September 09, 2012


Initial: 266
Two Weeks Ago: 247.4
This Week: 244.2
Change: -3.2
Overall: -21.8

Those numbers are as of Friday! Wow, I'm over the 20lb hurdle! That's pretty cool. I just keep amazing myself with this weight loss stuff. Remember, I've never successfully lost weight in my entire life. This is just neat-o.


My "ugh" comes from a lot of things. For example, I am currently dying.

Not like, really dying, but the, "I'm sick and feel so much like shit that I'm going to tell everyone I'm dying" feeling. Right now, my throat hurts, my head hurts, my face hurts, I can't breathe AND my nose is running at the same time (I am typing with a wad of tissue up my nose to stop that flow), and I still haven't heard back from my boss to see if he'll let me stay home today and make it up later in the week. :(

I hate being sick. I always become such a whiney baby when I'm sick. But jeez, it still sucks.

Also, I was severely let down last week.

My personal trainer quit on me. And not even in a proper way, either. Remember how I said he kept rescheduling on me? Well, all of a sudden, he just disappeared. Just **poof!**, he's nowhere to be found.

I paid for my sessions through my gym, and they said he just stopped showing up. They don't even know where he went! And the ass was ignoring my text messages, too! At first I was worried, but once I found out he quit, I was just pissed off.

I mean, hey, dude, if you have to quit for whatever reason, it's common courtesy to let me know first. Don't just disappear like you're trying to break up with me or something. I would have understood, seriously. You gotta do what you gotta do, right? I thought we were friends, but I guess not, 'cause the guy STILL hasn't replied to me. I even sent him a Facebook message that I know he saw ('cause Facebook added that creeper "Seen" thing on the messages), and didn't send anything back.

I officially don't like him anymore. That was just completely disrespectful, in my opinion.

Yeah, I'm throwing a fit.

Anyway, I have a new trainer now, and I'll meet with him on Tuesday. Hopefully, he doesn't suck. I have a really high standard for trainers, because I don't tolerate idiots, especially for the amount I paid for sessions. As long as he seems knowledgeable about what to do to help me towards my goals, and is engaged in what we do, then fine, we have a deal.

But yeah, I totally didn't need that whole bout of disappointment so early in my weight loss journey. It felt like he just gave up on me. Like I wasn't worth it. Oh well, I'm just gonna have to get over it.

September 04, 2012

Busy, Busy

I'm super late with my weigh-in!!!

Oh well, I'll just skip this week and do the weigh-in this Friday. I'm nearly positive I gained some weight back since Friday with all the crap I ate this weekend.


My port is bothering the crap out of me. Anytime I have to bend forward, I get all sore where my port is. I'm nearly positive it's just flappin' around in there, doing whatever the Hell it wants. I'll get that confirmed on Monday, though, when I go for my third fill.

It's not an intense pain, just super annoying. It keeps me from doing certain exercises at the gym.

Speaking of the gym, I haven't gone in a week. Half of the reason was because I hurt my foot last Tuesday during my training session. I stepped the wrong way during an agility exercise, and BAM! Shooting pains through my foot for three days. After it got better, I was just lazy. AND my trainer kept rescheduling on me. He's a nice dude and all, but he's rescheduled on me twice. I won't see him again until Friday.

I need to get back into the game.

I notice my weight loss progress is a lot slower than some. Honestly, that's because I still put crap in my mouth. It's mostly on the weekends, which is to be expected. I am a firm believer that you do not have to stick to a diet strictly 100%. Some Cheetos or some cake here and there won't hurt you. Unfortunately, I probably only stick to my diet 60% of the time, hence the slow progression of my weight loss.

My pants are starting to fit pretty loose, though. They're even getting baggy in the leg. The other day, I actually pulled my pants down without unbuttoning them. I didn't even realize I'd done that until they were off!

It's a new feeling, actually having clothes fit looser than tighter. I have never successfully lost weight in my entire life. The best I did was manage to stay around the same weight for about 3 years, but after that I just skyrocketed. I can't even remember the last time I weighed under 200lbs.

I'm not really giving my weight loss journey my all. Like I said, I've missed my workouts and only eat right about 60% of the time. However, I am learning that there is no such thing as "it's too late to try." Nope, I'm eliminating that from my vocabulary. It is never too late to try. It's never too late to start exercising again. It's never too late to improve the way I eat. It doesn't matter if I gain a pound or two here and there, because I can always bring it back down again.

Yup, positive Ashlee is positive.

And with that, I hope you guys have a great Tuesday!